April 30, 2010

Yesterday at 10:40 pm made it six months since I last talked to my beloved Tommy. 13 minutes later made it six months since he drew his last breathe. I truly don't know how I made it or why I am still alive. I miss him so very very much and wish so much that I could be with him.

I had a lot of first in the last six months
first Halloween -- his favorite holiday
first Thanksgiving
my birthday
first Christmas
first New Year's
first Valentine's Day
first wedding anniversary -- our 7th

The last major event will be his birthday on May 30.  Of course then comes the one year anniversary of losing him. 

Maybe the second or third year will be a little easier.  Maybe I can think of him without crying or losing my breath.  Dear God, it has to be easier, just a little.

I am very grateful for the love and support of my mom and brother, my friends, both here and online, especially my best friends Allison and Lesa, and everyone of you who come and visit my blog.  I don't know what I would do without any of you.  Thank you so much for being there.

I love you and miss you so very much, my dearest darling love.


Karen said...

I think of you often and wish that I lived closer so we could visit. I am sending you big hugs and prayers that things will one day be easier for you. Tommy must have been very special to have been so loved.

Maddie Can Fly said...

Same here kiddo -- wished we were closer. I just hate that you are having all this pain.